The Creative Process - a response to Dilip Shankar
Dilip Shankar, who runs the Centre for Creative Expressions in Delhi asked for some thoughts about the creative process - here are some of mine.
Its a deep mystery, unfathomable and profound. It is also daily chores, tasks and agendas; repetitive and mundane. I usually start with questions that itch, like the sand in the shell, rubbing away. I often have the feeling that something is not right or of a vacuum and then out of the blue a hint of an idea emerges. This hint or hunch is shaky, shady and often difficult to define or describe. But whatever it is - a colour or texture or line of argument, it offers enough substance to start with, to find the right hue or lead me to the next clue. At this stage I feel like a sleuth, hunting for signs. And slowly, much more slowly than I would wish, they come. Its not easy, there are many stops and starts, severe doubt and exhilarated knowing. I am never sure it will come together, although I am often sure it won't. I am looking for something buried that demands I keep digging, keep on at it. It can be obsessive searching or sometimes a next step blunders in when I least expect it and, as if by magic, ideas line up without me seeming to be doing anything at all. I often think I must practice, ritually and devotedly, that I must focus truly on what I want to achieve while letting go of attachment to the outcome. That can be very challenging - not to force a conclusion or let an easy option slide through when I know its not right. The world of deadlines and funding applications and impressing the powers that be does not seem very conducive but form a complex part of the process. It must exist in the real world too.
People are vital and share in this process, offering ideas, advice or sometimes just giving unwittingly while I chase the threads. I usually shoulder the responsibility of money and schedules and management. I long to be free of that but actually love owning the process. And as much of my work is for others I am also trying to glean what will work for them, whether my ideas should stay locked in my room or whether they are worth sharing, whether they communicate. This seems impossible to determine. Ideas change when they are watched or witnessed or interacted with, so part of the work is constantly presenting and then refining.
And what exactly is 'the work' in all of this? The talking? The thinking? The Sunday walk where a new perspective comes? The rehearsals, the writing, the networking, the paperwork or the meals? I know the art of writing is the rewriting, I know the performance only happens on stage if its been discovered in rehearsal, I know all this and yet I am dumb and blind and stumbling. I can't control it. I can't do it alone. The most important and least important thing where ego and service play together. I trust. The creative process is pervasive and elusive - all at once. x
